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@rafI actually often don't respond to questions asking for proof of antisemitism from somebody. It too often leads to them disagreeing on what counts as antisemitism and then I get harassed.
So I'm going to have to rely on others for that education. It's not worth my time
@imstilljeremy@babka.socialA phrase I have learned to use, from time to time, is "This isn't a discussion. You are being given information. How you use the information you are given is up to you."
@rafIf I were meaner I'd say, you've already been warned and you chose to disregard that warning. That has not gone unnoticed.
@imstilljeremy @raf I need to keep this in mind.
@imstilljeremyI learned this from my (badass) mom who counsels domestic abusers as part of court-ordered therapy. It is basically the first thing they all do, when they first arrive, argue and insist that this is some sort of collaborative interaction where their point of view must be given equal weight (since they are used to having the power in a relationship, especially with women).
She is never ruffled by their cajoling, invectives, and threats (though she has had to hire private security a few times when I was younger and she had less experience). She simply explains to them what the actual relationship is that is going on here, that if they don't want to take the opportunity they are being afforded, to listen to the information and use it to help themselves, then they are welcome to leave; she reminds them that nobody will make them come and listen.
1/2
@imstilljeremyAnd they do sometimes storm out, full of righteous fury, only to find that their parole officers are not exactly sympathetic to complaints their counselor is being unfair to them, explaining they can go back to jail instead if they prefer. To a man, they all show up the next time, sullen but no longer demanding.
She never rubs it in, just lets them pretend like it never happened and they simply reconsidered and decided to come back.
Again, just a total badass.
The situations obviously aren't 1:1 analogous. But there is enough overlap, especially for a moderator.